So today I checked me email and I find what is possibly the best email i've ever gotten in my entire life. Willis got drunk last night and this was the outcome (certain parts have been ommitted, I only kept the un-personal funny stuff, although the email in its entirety was fucking halarious):



hey bub
we are fairly sauced right nowso it is the time to tell you how awesome a girl you are and love you from the bottom of me hart. you know you are awesome an awesome friend for the rest of my life you know. really. but you know i love you and have as long as i have known you. but not like that. anymore. well, maybe a little. but i mean you should know i think you are the picture of female beauty. really. so cute. like a hip, hot white beyonce. or milla. i rewally dont like beyonce at all. you are like emanuelle beart. but hotter and i am amazing too. this i know. but you are extremely smart and great. i think you are the best and so do you. i hope yopu move out of ns and do something great, because it is inevitable. and i love you more than most could. but i am a boy genius that no one knows of yet, not even you. that maybe concieted but there are other genius's i'm not the only one. you'll see. and you will forever be the first love of my life. you sweet little prairie dog you. anyway i love you a lot and we will forever be the best of friends, like the dinos in the land before time. somewhere in you there is a thought that says i should be your husband. maybe some day, we are too young now. i will talk to you soon, hopefully after you read this. but you know that i can be a great boyfriend, you know. i cook and adore you. boyfriend or not. so call me and we will cook. im going to leave now. call me. or i will call you, love. either way i don't feel badly towards you.

ps you are the cutest little doll ever. i will never have a girlfriend as attractive as you. i guess thats sort of a drag. i smoked my first cigarette to myself tonite. it was probably because of you but its not your fault or anything, it was good. i'm gonna go now.

love will

hahaha how could today not be perfect after this drunken masterpiece?

Last night we went to the Attic and it was sort of crappy. The best part was when this crazy guy who i'm pretty sure was on acid was breakdance fighting and almost punching/kicking everyone in the face. It got better when he ran into one of the dome hoochies and she fell off her stupid stilleettos and looked mad. Then she pulled out her "slut gloss" (lip gloss) and put it on really angerly like she was sucking on a cigerette. moron. Oh yea, and some guy with a mustache put the moves on me and kept saying "seriously!!! i really don't usually have a mustache". Ok, because I have been eyeing you ALL night saying "that guy, he would be so sexable if he didn't have that damn mustache". Me and Krista decided that I should have told him to break a beer bottle on his face and go to the bathroom, shave his crustache and come back when he looks presentable. Although, Krista took it a step furthur and said that I should tell him to "shave" his wrists with a beer bottle. Krista can be such a bitch, she's great!

There was nothing about last night that should have made it not fun. Then again, I guess there was nothing about the night to make it memorable either. There was a really really cute lovely boy working at the merch table which I was standing by most of the night. However, I was sneaking peeks all night and I don't think he even once looked within a 10 foot radius of me. I"m ugly, i'm fat, I didn't make the cheerleading team. My sister and I just watched "Honey", it was so good. Jessica Alba really cares about helping kids learn hip hop, she even gives up working for Missy Elliot to do so! Now that is reality. She's real.

I'm going now. I"m starting to realize that my online journal is just silliness. I promise to cook up some drama to tell all you lovely people about very soon.

xoxoxox
Sarah