do you understand or do you need an interpreter??

Last night Kathy and I had a nice, relaxing evening. We drank fancy drinks and smoked cigerettes on her porch, giggled and complained and enjoyed one of the last warm nights the summer will grant us. We strolled around the neighborhood, weaving in and out of streets dimly lit by soft lights that spilled out of house windows. Looking in the windows of houses is nice at night. A quick glance of someone elses leisure always makes me feel alive, relieved, less suffocated. We saw a couple cuddling on the couch, internet nerds enthralled in online chat, foot ball jocks burping from an open window, and heard talking and laughter overlapping the faint hum of music escaping from a stereo. There is something about observing other people, hearing the clink of glasses and the fall of laughter that is satisfying as a passer by.

We saw three or four eligable places. One, I am totally and completely infatuated with; gorgeous upper flat complete with dorm-style windows. But it's expensive--very expensive. Kathy's friend Christy is also searching for a roommate so if her, jen and I could all find a place it would cur down on living costs substancially. I just want to go!!! Pack up my stuff and leave!! But my mind is saturated in anxiety; what if jen's loan doesn't come? if all the places have been taken?my budget is too small? I don't want to suffer another let down like Montreal, espicially when the move is merely across the McDonald bridge not the country. I need to get my bike fixed and my VISA paid and my books bought and on and on and on and on and on.....

and off and on and off. Everything switches so quickly and I just want to schedule my life on my own: get undergrad, move away, do design, make money, fall in love, travel, marry, end. oh yea and I want to get a cat sometime, maybe if I move out. I would want it to be able to play with Kathy's cat.

Today: DO BUDGET SHEET!
-air the tires in my bike
-clean car
-get my period
-clean room
-swim

and she's off!