I'm starting to get bored of sitting in my house, everyday, alone. It's funny because this was my concern about moving; being alone. Yet, the move of my body half way across the country into a city heavy with snobs and language barriers no way changes the emptiness of a bedroom. So what's the point of being scared? Not that is is happening now anyways....

I wish I could be less closed, realize it's ok to cry in front of people, tell people what the hell is going on. When Nick died I felt bad telling people, I didn't want them to feel bad or awkward around me. You know what? It's ok for people to feel fucking akward about stuff like that, they're supossed to. Of course, leave it to me to limit the conversations to a new belt or reality t.v.

I really hate these sorts of rants and it is times like these that I wish I could have this as a personal journal. NO one wants to listen to this crap, because that's all it is. Nothing is ever as bad as people let on.