ANd...

ACTION

!!!



Tonight is Andrew's cocktail Party and Owen's Birthday Party. I'm not going to either. My head hurts, my mind is boiling over and I just feel like taking the phone off the hook and sleeping.

Will and I were going to Chill for an hour tonight; no answer at his house! boys boys boys...

I just realized that this is like my 4th entry today, this is what happens when I have the day off work. Allison and I went to Penhorn cos I was going to buy a hair straightner, the things are like $70, crazy. Even though my hair is pin straight I still might make ths investment because i'm a materialistic girl who loves hair....

Matt arrives tonight circa Air Canada, Allison is sooo excited to see him, I don't think i've ever seen someone glow so much. It's really nice to see her so happy. Today she informed me that she has been constipated for 3 days because she can't eat since she's so happy/fluttery/excited for his visit/sex/arms around her. awww...so very cute. I'm just jelouse, not of matt, not of their relationship, but of that feeling that we are all familiar with. I just want to feel new and fresh and aware of all of the beautiful things that boys can sometimes bring. I like having the conscious thought that I want to look nice for a specific person, or put on lipstick because i'm going to be kissed, not cos my lips are chapped. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a boyfriend, I just want to have sometihing new in my life. Montreal is scary; I'm preparing myself to leave but it's a very slow and tedious process. Apartment hunting/furnishing, classes/transportation, friends/clubs/shopping/stylish French boys....so many things to think about. I think this could possibly be the reason for the pressure headaches i've been having for the last 4 days.

Lately I just have little desire to hang out. I'm not unhappy, i'm just lazy. It's almost like I feel like I have to learn to enjoy my own company and entertain myself because I know the first little bit in Montreal is going to be pretty lonely. My only hope is that I end up with an awesome roommate. I haven't seen Darcy or Nicole in what seems like weeks and despite my excitment to see Will, we've barely hung out since he's been home. Then again, the first time we did turned out to be a disaster and the second time I was too tanked to know what the hell was going on. It was Kathy's mini bday party last night I got her the prettiest pink mug and saucer, I got her snob coffee too, cos she's the classic beautty and should settle for no less.

I got an email from James the other night. heartbeatsfaster. The other day I realized the level of my obsession when I watched an Australian cooking show just to listen to their beautiful accents. I love the way they say the word "four", it's like "fouuuuuuaaaa". oh, pretty. Seriously, I don't recognize myself sometimes when it comes to that heart thief...

I've ended on a good note.