He is Risen
He is Risen, Indeed.

Today is Easter. I woke up to virtually no sleep at the expence of caring for my feverish, hot/cold flash boyfriend at the swift hour of 8 a.m. I told my mom and dad that I would go to church with them this morning. I never really go to church anymore but there since it's Easter and I appreciate the nostalgic effect it has on me, I agreed without much resistence.

I got up and put on this really low-cut lacy purplish shirt, black pants, heels and my Olsen Twins sunglasses. Ready for Church. Josh said I looked "wicked hot", even though i didn't shower or wash my hair, but when do I ever? Anyways, we talked a little bit about the rapture and which one of us would disappear without any final resolution. I dropped him off at home so he could sleep and I picked up Andrew. I was racing the clock because my parents said it was "imperative that I be there at 9:15 sharp". Anyways, I raced over the bridge and we arrived at church at around 9:20. We run inside and the place is absolutely and completely empty. My first thought: Obviously it's the rapture! My talk with josh in the car had really been a prophecy! The saddest part was there was this one semi-depressed looking lady at the back of the church who sadly looked at andrew and I and said "no body is here". All I could think was how she got left. I mean, naturally if the rapture happens the church is going to be the most obviously vacant building.I grabbed Andrew's arm and hissed: "It's the rapture!". He laughed a lot, but he waited until he was out of ear shot of anyone who might find it offensive.

So I went into the gym and there were about 250 people in there jamming their faces with ham, cereal, pancakes and apple sauce. I don't care for pancakes and never have so naturally, I sauntered towards the coffee thermos--empty, not a drop. So I ended up chewing on some undercooked ham and choking down some cereal (I forget the brand but it's the one with the rooster on the box). Then Erin T. came to my (Dartmouth) house and we watched Canadian Idol re-runs.

Oh yea, and my dad gave me an Easter present: Dangerous Minds on dvd! So Easter appropriate and long overdue. I can't believe I didn't purchse that movie earlier.

So then we went BACK to church since the service actually started at ELEVEN, not nine. There was an Easter Cantata complete with Letergical (Sp?) dancing and drums. It was pretty. Then I managed to further embarrass myself and my family. As we're leaving, I noticed that Andrew and Alison were kinda of dragging their feet and in my eager attempt to avoid small talk with elderly people, i (loudly) said "Come on!". They didn't listen. I figured an insult would push them into motion. Come on....fucker? No. Frigger? Still no. Bugger? Of course. So yea, i'm like "Come on you two buggers" (right in front of the new paster who was about to outstretch his hand in introduction). Then REw and Al are all like "Sarah! Don't say that, it's offensive!" So since i've been publicly shamed and scolded for it, I just scampered by the new pastor. As soon as we're out I pryed them to telling me what a "bugger" was. Andrew said it was someone who had sex with animals and Alison said it was anal sex. I looked it up and it said that it was "unnatural sex with animals" (which i'm assuming is gay sex and the dictionary was written before people were considerate of gay people).

But I did get to have a good supper with my family and later JOsh's.

So my Easter consisted of: wearing a risque shirt, getting up two hours early, thinking I missed the second coming, eating a bad breakfast, saying a word that meant anal animal sex in front of the new pastor, and watching Dangerous Minds.

I hope you enjoyed your Easter.