Why put a new address on the same old lonliness?
So for the last few days i've been cleaning a lot. My walls are bare now. Yesterday I put on Songs: Ohia and stripped the walls of my bedroom. It's kinda lonely now. I went through the motions of feeling nostalgic while cleaning out my closet, angry for not being able to throw things out when really, I haven't looked at them in years, and finally, I just felt resentment towards myself for owning so much frivelous crap. The amount of clothing I own is disgusting and I have this unhealthy obsession with keeping absolutely anything that anyone has ever written to me. I found this love note from a boy I met in the summer of grade 7, it was really funny. My favorite line from it was "Instead of worrying about Chubbs stalking me, I could've been with a beautiful girl like you". It's funny to think of someone calling me beautiful in 7th grade. I didn't even wear a bra in grade 7 I don't think. I was one of those girls who didn't really have boobs until I was 15. BUT, I was one of the first to get my period. I think that I took comfort in the fact that although I was flat, I got to bleed once a month. I also found a really cute notes from my grade 7 boyfriend of 2 weeks and a card from my dad which made me cry. After reading all of that stuff, I remembered why I don't like to throw things away. It's nice to relocate in time for a minute and remember the things that you forget happened.
Last night I watched The Grudge. I didn't think I was scared until I was driving home. Then I got all freaked out and kept looking in the back seat when I was driving over the bridge. When I got into my bedroom, I realized how unfamiliar it felt with bare walls and boxes everywhere. I just hid under my covers and thought about that creepy Asian girl crawling down the stairs at the conclusion of the movie. I called Josh on his cell phone because I was scared but either he was too scared to answer or he didn't hear it. Then I called Allison because I just really wanted someone to talk to me when I was falling asleep but she didn't answer either. So I fell asleep terrified that some crazy Asian with no jaw was going to get me.
THREE DAYS TIL MOVING DAY! We haven't gotten our new phone # yet. When I do, it's not like i'm going to post it on here or anything. If I like you, i'll call you and give it to you.
I'm supposed to go to Retro NIght tonight but I am so pressed for time, it's going to be impossible. Plus, I'd rather just go next week to the last one and not feel stressed about being out to late and such.
I need to work on this thesis for my paper, it's due in a few hours.
Sarah Out E.
So for the last few days i've been cleaning a lot. My walls are bare now. Yesterday I put on Songs: Ohia and stripped the walls of my bedroom. It's kinda lonely now. I went through the motions of feeling nostalgic while cleaning out my closet, angry for not being able to throw things out when really, I haven't looked at them in years, and finally, I just felt resentment towards myself for owning so much frivelous crap. The amount of clothing I own is disgusting and I have this unhealthy obsession with keeping absolutely anything that anyone has ever written to me. I found this love note from a boy I met in the summer of grade 7, it was really funny. My favorite line from it was "Instead of worrying about Chubbs stalking me, I could've been with a beautiful girl like you". It's funny to think of someone calling me beautiful in 7th grade. I didn't even wear a bra in grade 7 I don't think. I was one of those girls who didn't really have boobs until I was 15. BUT, I was one of the first to get my period. I think that I took comfort in the fact that although I was flat, I got to bleed once a month. I also found a really cute notes from my grade 7 boyfriend of 2 weeks and a card from my dad which made me cry. After reading all of that stuff, I remembered why I don't like to throw things away. It's nice to relocate in time for a minute and remember the things that you forget happened.
Last night I watched The Grudge. I didn't think I was scared until I was driving home. Then I got all freaked out and kept looking in the back seat when I was driving over the bridge. When I got into my bedroom, I realized how unfamiliar it felt with bare walls and boxes everywhere. I just hid under my covers and thought about that creepy Asian girl crawling down the stairs at the conclusion of the movie. I called Josh on his cell phone because I was scared but either he was too scared to answer or he didn't hear it. Then I called Allison because I just really wanted someone to talk to me when I was falling asleep but she didn't answer either. So I fell asleep terrified that some crazy Asian with no jaw was going to get me.
THREE DAYS TIL MOVING DAY! We haven't gotten our new phone # yet. When I do, it's not like i'm going to post it on here or anything. If I like you, i'll call you and give it to you.
I'm supposed to go to Retro NIght tonight but I am so pressed for time, it's going to be impossible. Plus, I'd rather just go next week to the last one and not feel stressed about being out to late and such.
I need to work on this thesis for my paper, it's due in a few hours.
Sarah Out E.
1 Comments:
At 7:15 PM,
Anonymous said…
I love reading your blog sarah. You are so beautiful. Cook me eggs tomorrow, over easy. This is imperative.
-mm
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